The Oklahoma Chapter Comes to a Close

Six months ago my husband accepted a job in Florida. Six months ago, we knew a chapter was about to close and another to begin. So many emotions come with life changes. We were so excited. For years we’ve been planning our move- we just did not know where, and I certainly would have never guessed Florida. My husband pulled away from our house, jeeps loaded, in mid-January. I cried… for hours. It was agreed upon that I would stay in Oklahoma while we figured out housing arrangements. It was, financially, the best solution for us, but at the time, I never knew how hard it would be for me. I am independent. I am FINE being alone for a week, weekend, but… the plan was never 5 months. Two months, at most, and then we’d be together. February turned to spring break in March, then March turned to April, and then April turned to June. Now... here we are, end of May in two weeks this chapter will officially close. 

The Oklahoma Chapter:

I remember coming to Alva, interviewing with the Division of Business and Division of Nursing for a secretary job. The Division of Business asked me to accept the job. I also remember I had no voice- allergies had caused my voice to go away. Oddly enough, as I get ready to move, I have lost my voice again- I'm assuming to allergies, but even more coincidental, I am taking a position in the College of Business. My life seems to have come full circle.

Alva is a place that has left an impact on my life-  not necessarily because of it's historical "beauty" (like Savannah) or it's nature (like Clarkesville), but I think the small-town living has caused me to appreciate things that I never would have thought about. For example, I appreciate walking through a mall, or going out to eat, or getting dressed up and going to a night on the town. These were all things that I had access to during my 7 years in Savannah. Although it seems like small things to be appreciative of, you begin to appreciate other things as well. Being close to friends and family, being a part of big events in friends and families' lives, attending weddings, showers, and birthday events. All things that I haven't been able to attend (frequently) due to my time in Oklahoma. But then, there is the other side; I have been able to see my cousin get married and my two cousins graduate. My uncle and his kids live in Oklahoma, and I am so grateful that I was able to share those milestones with them. I have met people that I will never forget; I have worked at a wonderful institution, where I feel accepted, loved, and appreciated for being me; I have embraced small-town living - again (and... don't mind it). I have come to love so many things that I thought I never would. Alva, OK will always hold a special little place in my heart.

What will I miss?

•      I'll miss the people the most. So many people that have touched my heart and will  
       be in my memory forever.
•      I'll miss NWOSU. I accomplished so many things working/schooling here. I came in     as a secretary, I wrote and photographed for the local newspaper, I photographed for     the athletic program, I was head cheer coach, an assistant soccer coach, an advisor, a     director, a master's student, a Comp II instructor, and a Ranger Connection    
      Orientation instructor. I served on multiple committees and won various awards  
      during my time as a student. I cannot thank NWOSU enough for building my  
      resume and giving me so many opportunities. I'll also miss walking across campus
      and being able to talk to EVERYONE because... there are NO strangers working at
      NWOSU.    :)
•     I'll miss Rialto's $5.00 movies...and their popcorn- yum!
•     I'll miss last-minute dinner plans to Pizza Hut or El Maya- with friends
•     I'll miss the sunsets and sunrises- I've never seen so many beautiful open skies        
      painted with colors
•     Lake trips with my Uncle Craig and Aunt Robyn- or just being able to visit them, and     lake trips with the Cooks!
•     Sherryce and her mad-hair skills
•     My dentist and eye doctor...I always hate finding new offices
•     The coffee truck! Vanilla Bean!!
•     Girls' nights with my Alva girls
•     Photographing the football games
•     Coaching
•     The (cost-effective) vet! 
•     The kind "folks" of Alva- everyone here is so friendly- even the postal workers!
•     Watching the storms come in
•     The list could go on and on... but I'll stop here, for those that are actually taking the
      time to read.

What will I not miss?

•      Driving 2.5 to 3 hours to get to "civilization"
•      NOWHERE to stop and go to the bathroom on these drives!
•      36 hrs in the car over Christmas to visit family
•      The smell of cow manure when going to or leaving El Maya or Wal-Mart
•      Daily trips to Wal-Mart
•      Not having a dishwasher
•      Alva closing up at 9 pm
•      Smoke in bars
•      Only have 1 bar to choose from
•      Anniversary/birthday dinners at Pizza Hut (I mean... I 'm a simple girl, but I do like      a nice meal for      special occasions)
•      The RIDICULOUS size of spiders in this place!
•      The CRAZY wind (averaging at 25-35 mph each day)- especially in the winter
•      Places that still don't accept debit cards
•      Limited food choices
•      Crazy/Cold winters!

I could sit and go on and on about the amazing memories that I have from my (almost 5) years in Alva, but I'll let them be just that- memories. Now, it's time for a new chapter. Stayed tuned, folks, the Florida Chapter is about to begin!

Walk by Faith- my mantra.

2 Corinthians 5:7 -For we walk by faith, not by sight.

          This verse has led me through life, through the good, through the bad, through the unknown. When I began college, I had my life planned out...so I thought. That plan drastically changed as I experienced my first (real) heart break. I thought my world was over-literally (I was 19, what did I know!?). I prayed so many nights that the Lord would heal me and lead me to where I needed to be. I was then told by a friend about Armstrong, a university in Savannah. I had never been to Savannah, but as I applied, everything fell into place. Savannah became my second home. I loved Savannah, still do. It will always have a special place in my heart. A place where I earned my first degree, a place where my heart healed, a place where I met friends that will always be in my life, a place where I grew closer to the Lord- closer than I'd ever been, a place where I found a church where I could thrive, a place where I had my first "big girl job", a place where I experienced the ups and downs that made me who I am, and the place where I met and fell in love with my soulmate- my husband. 

          I excitedly said "yes" to him on the top of the Eiffel Tower in Vegas. We had both discussed that although Savannah was amazing, we felt our time had expired, and we both ready for new adventures. I prayed and prayed for God to take us where we needed to go, and two short weeks later he accepted a job as the Head Athletic Trainer in Alva, OK. Our lives were about to change, drastically, and we had no idea how. He moved to Alva while I stayed with my parents. A month later, I accepted a minimum wage job at NWOSU, I'm not going to lie, when I rode into town, I thought that God had (maaayyybe) made a mistake (I know, I know... He doesn't make mistakes...), but as I looked at this small town, with a 2000 person population, I thought, "I can not do this." 

          Four and a half years later, we are on the move again (well, Steve is... I'm again... walking by faith). If you follow my blog, which I'm terrible at keeping up, you probably read how miserable I was, how I thought I couldn't make it in this town, and how I didn't know why God has chosen Alva for us. I now know that there is no place that would have given me exactly what I needed. See, in these past four and a half years I have earned a master's degree, tuition free. I have been the head coach of a collegiate cheerleading squad, I have assisted in coaching a college soccer team, I have been a photographer for the athletics program, I have written for the local newspaper, as well as assisting as a wedding photographer, I have moved into a director position of a federal grant, advising students, and I have experience teaching in a face-to-face and online college classroom. I've worked for a wonderful university that has shown me how much I truly enjoy working in higher ed. I have made contacts with fellow faculty and staff, and I have met some of the most amazing people- again, more friends for life. 

          Now, here I am again. My husband has an amazing job opportunity, and I'm waiting for God to place me where He thinks I should be. Is this easy? Um...NO, it's incredibly hard. As each door is closed, or each "no" is said, I will be crushed. I will be wondering what I'm going to do, and by default of being a human, I'm going to be stressed. However, as I sit here typing this, I see that God provided exactly what I needed, when I needed it, even though (at the time) I didn't know I needed it. Taking a minimum wage job after having a nicely paid teaching position was hard, but that job allowed me time to coach, and wedding plan, and go to school, and write for the paper, and take pictures for the school. Yes, I did all of that within my first two years. God knew I needed to "plug in", and once I accepted His plan, He never let me down. I KNOW God will give me the job that I need (and I'm selfishly hoping it's also the job I want), but for now, I will continue to walk by faith because I have learned that there's no better way to walk than with the Lord. Please pray for my husband and me as we embark on this exciting, new journey!

Epiphany!

It’s been a year, 365 days-more or less- since my life changed. It changed in good ways, complicated ways, new ways, challenging ways—basically, I’m trying to say, it changed. Isn’t that just life, though? Ever-changing. That’s what I love about life. Change. After reading my previous blogs, some of you may be confused by my claims in loving change. I never said it was easy, but it’s practical, it’s necessary, and it’s what makes life so darn interesting. In the past year I have encountered more life changes than a person should probably experience in one year, but now I sit on the other side and I smile.

MAY 2012: I have become engaged. JUNE: Two weeks later my fiancé received a job offer in Oklahoma and moved. I moved out of Savannah and into my parents’ house for a month. I was in limbo-waiting….what should I do? Do I move? Will I get a job? What will happen? In Savannah, I was getting bored, so I prayed for change, I prayed for something new and different and God sure delivered. Even though it didn’t seem like it at the time, He knew exactly what he was doing. JULY: I took a flight out to Oklahoma about two weeks later, accepted a job, came home, packed my car with what I could carry , picked up my fiancé from the airport, and we drove half-way across the country to our new home.

As most of you know from my blogs, I cried…a LOT. Change isn’t always fun, but, as I said before, it is necessary for growth. Yes, I’m 27 years old, but I still have a lot of growing up to do. J AUGUST: Ok, so I moved, and a week later it was my birthday. I had to change my license and tag over to Oklahoma since both had expired. So, there went my identity. This born and raised GA peach had nothing to show for her roots except her GA girl tag on the front and UGA stickers on the car. We had moved into an apartment complex with a couple that we met when we knocked on the door. Steve and I were crammed into a room, and all we had was each other. I cried…a LOT, again. I think girls are more emotional when they leave their friends. Actually, I know girls are more emotional. I am emotional. My friends and family mean everything to me. I lived with someone for 5 years who became more than a roommate, more than my best friend, she became my sister. We shared heartaches and glasses of wine, burnt popcorn, cheesy 80’s movies, and laughs until we were both wiping tears from our eyes. I also left wonderful friends in Savannah that I will NEVER find or replace. I left childhood friends, whom I know I’ll never be without, no matter what the distance, but the distance doesn’t always make things easier.  Steve found that side of me quickly, but he didn’t run, or tell me to stop crying. He just wiped my tears, held me close, and told me that we would be ok. I didn’t know if I could believe it then, but I believe it now.

My roommates here in Oklahoma were such a blessing. God knew I needed company. He knew that I needed someone to be with when Steve was gone with football. He knew I needed someone that would become my closest friend here. See, the funny thing with the Lord is…no matter how much you turn away, or stray, or forget to pray…he’s there. He knows what’s best and although you don’t see it, he has his hand gently on your shoulder, guiding you to where you need to be.

SEPTEMBER-DECEMBER: In the fall, Steve and I decided to buy a house. It was a long, stressful process, but we are fortunate to have a place we can call our own. My dad graciously drove a truck, with all of our stuff, out to OK and helped us get settled into our new home. Living together has been an adjustment for me as well. Did I ever plan it before marriage? No, I didn’t, but I know that the Lord’s hand is here, in this…with us. The Lord has shown me that marriage is not going to be easy, he has shown me that situations will arise that challenge us every day, but he has also shown me that I have chosen the person that can survive life with me; holding my hand every step of the way.

JANUARY: After the fall semester I decided to start the Masters program here at the University, so I am currently working towards my Masters in Secondary Ed. All the while, we’re planning our wedding from half way across the states and adjusting to life in the Mid West.

Looking back, I realize that I went through more in the past year than most people go through in 5, maybe even 10 years, and although I may not be in a place where I would choose to live for the rest of my life, I am grateful for the blessings that the Lord has given me. I have so much to be thankful for. So, here I am, a year later saying I survived J not that I thought I wouldn’t, but I would be lying if I said it wasn’t hard. Here I am … saying that I’m happy, that I’m appreciative for these opportunities to grow and experience life in different ways and different places. Do I love Oklahoma? Eh…that might be stretching it… J but I love my life, and I love who is in my life…so why in the world should I be sad about that? It may have taken a year, but I think …no … I KNOW it’s all going to be OK (no pun intended)! Yeah, Epiphany Tuesday…what? J

Just play the field

“Life isn't fair.” Haven’t you been told that your entire life? I know I have; not just by my parents, but anyone who chooses to take something away from you. Maybe it’s tangible, maybe not; either way, it’s often heard when something is a disappointment. It’s like using “bless your heart.” All of you southern readers know what I’m referring to…those that don’t, just ask a southerner! I feel like we use these as excuse phrases-you know- to make the situation not seem so bad. In reality, though, life really isn't fair, but was it ever supposed to be?

Jesus died on the cross to save us- for eternal life and happiness- but we have to suffer for the good of our Lord. Doesn't sound like a good deal to you? Well…would you have rather been nailed to a cross to die? I think in the scheme of things we've become spoiled by movies and books and TV shows about our true reality. I know I searched for a story book romance for so long. Not to say that I don’t have a great relationship, but no one has ever crawled up my hair or rescued me from a fire breathing dragon and then taken me off into the sunset on his white steed. Expectations can be so heartbreaking. I had my whole life planned out when I was a senior in high school. I was going to marry my high school boyfriend after we graduated college and then we were going to live in his grandfather’s house, and eventually have a family. Sounds great…sounds very… Leave it to Beaveresque…sounds so NOT like me. Maybe that was me then, but life’s unfair treatments have turned me into someone that I love. Who would I be without the Lord’s guidance and life’s scary, but needed lessons? I would be this shy, un-traveled, dependent girl with no back-bone. Ha…we all know, that’s not who I am now!

I’ve never been a spoiled person or cared about money, so to me, life’s earlier, unfair curve balls had been simple things-things that I might forget about the next day. Things a high-schooler would “die” over, but as a young adult, we laugh. “Oh my gosh, my hair is so..frizzy!” “Oh my gosh, he didn't ask me to prom!”  “Oh my gosh, my parents won’t let me go to his party!” And so on….

Now, life has stepped up its game and decided to throw some sliders. You know, those ones that sneak in without you expecting it. I’ve spent a lot of tears and pouty days asking God what is going on lately. Is this a mid-term!? I feel like I can’t get up off the ground before getting knocked down again. And then…I remember… a man is strongest when he/she is on their knees before the Lord. Where am I though? Am I on my knees? No, I’m crossing my arms and pouting like a 5 year old when I should be giving all of my worry to the Lord. What about people with life-threatening problems? Those strong souls of cancer, the hungry, the homeless, the broken and abused…I’m none of those. Yes, I’ve known people with these harsh conditions, but never personally-myself. My mom had breast cancer and became a stronger woman of God, one of my childhood friends traded in luxury for a life in Africa—helping those in need. My dad is currently losing his business. There are so many other issues I could mention, but I really don’t think there’s enough space to fit them all. Ha, and I’m disputing an unfair call on my life!? How does humanity form us to be this way? I don’t consider myself to be a prideful person, but what is it about giving up problems!? Why do we want to fix them ourselves? There’s no prize, no reward, no trophy. No one congratulates you on your life problem solving. So why is it so hard to just say, “Lord, I give it all to you; take it, for it is yours?” Hmmm…not hard at all J it’s not that life isn't fair; it’s that we’re trying to be the umpires instead of just playing the field. 

Home is where your heart is

Home sweet home, home is where your heart is, there's no place like home...

It's not until you move when you realize what home really means to you. To me, home is the house I grew up in. I have never moved, my parents have lived in the same house since they were married, and to me, I feel it's the only place that I can ever know as "home." Savannah takes second place as a place I felt at home. Although I was ready for a new experience, I can never forget the amazing memories I created the 7 years I was there.

I flew from KS to GA last weekend for Katie's engagement party and James' wedding. Our closest airport is in Wichita and I couldn't fight the irony when I passed the gift shop full of Wizard of Oz memorabilia. "There's no place like home," I read as I passed the display windows full of t-shirts and magnates. I felt so peaceful as the plane began to descend into Atlanta, and all I could think was, "there's no place like home."

I met my mom at the top of the escalator, she embraced me and excitedly asked me how my flight was. The night of Katie's engagement party reminded me of how truly blessed I am. I was able to catch up with old friends and those I consider my second family. James and Camilla's wedding was so much fun, and even though I didn't know a lot of people, I knew James and Camilla. I was asked to be a part of their day and that was special enough for me.

I've returned to OK and since sported my GA shirt to the university's home game on Saturday. I streamed the video on my phone so I could keep up with the game. Something that simple, GA football, reminded me of my childhood, my high school years, my college years, and after. So my question is, will I ever feel at home here? My answer? I don't know. I'm trying..I am, but it's hard. It's hard to leave "home." I'm not talking about leaving my parent's house, but leaving everything that I've ever known as home. Sometimes something will happen that will spark a memory, and I can't turn to the person beside me and say "ha remember when....." It's about making new memories. I know this. I don't want to sit here and say that my fiance is not a part of my heart, more than a part, he's taken my heart. I moved here for him and I will always support and know that a relationship is built on giving. What we have here has been so important in building our relationship and our future. I know this. I know it's early and I know that I have to give it time. I really hate being so...depressing. I wish I could offer words of joy or excitement, but for now, for this Sunday, this is all I have to offer.

Home is where your heart is...I'm just trying to figure out if my heart was left in GA.

Make lemonade...

Remember when you were 7 years old and you always wanted to be 16? I remember wishing I were 16; dreaming of what it would be like to be a teenager, who could drive! Oh the fun and excitement 16 years would hold!! I also remember in middle school I was asked to write "where you will be at the age of 25?" Ha, if I only knew then what I know now! I wrote that I would have a family, 2 or 3 kids, and a house; guess when you're 12 or 13, 25 seems so...old!

 How about those high school football games? I can say that is one of my best memories of high school. A slight chill brings football season into play. My fellow cheerleaders and I would all gather at Katie's to put on make-up and fix our hair. We excitedly stood on the track and chatted until we were caught by our coach. Touchdowns by the Raiders meant 10 push-ups for us. The band was roaring and fans were cheering. Looking into the stands, you would find your friends and wave...sometimes throw them a plastic football, if our team scored. There was also soccer season. Oh I loved the smell of grass on my cleats. We would start our season in winter and freeze during pre-season. One year, the white county game brought snow and instead of water, we drank hot chocolate on the sidelines. I think now, I would throw up after drinking that! Soccer was my ultimate passion...I miss it.

Then you're in college. Enjoying the freedom that you now have from your parents, experimenting with alcohol (well...some did...I never found the taste for it), and finding out that there are MANY more fish in the sea than your high school boys. This is where life speeds up, because you really do have the time of your life. Sometimes I wish I could rewind and revisit all those memories. That's all they are...memories. Some captured in pictures, others in my mind. You so wish to be finished with classes and then when you are, you realize your entire life is about to change. Once you cross that stage and change your tassel, you are done. Responsibility begins. (or is supposed to...)

Now, at the age of 27, I'm not married, no kids, and no house...not yet. I am engaged, getting married in a year, no kids...not ready for that...and almost a house! Yes, I am possibly a home owner! I thought buying my car was a big deal, but a house!? A mortgage!? I never saw my life turning in this direction. I always believed God has a sense of humor! I'm out in the middle of no-where, embarking on a new life. It's been...well..y'all know..hard! I've definitely been clouding God's prayer mail, but I think things are starting to look up. It's time to grow up! It's time to face life and actually MAKE lemonade!

Manic Monday

Well, since my birthday weekend was pretty flawless...I can't expect a good Monday. Today was the day that I had to get my license renewed. (Actually, I now know that should've been done BEFORE my birthday)....

The DMV...what could be worse than the visit to the DMV? Seriously...when they started doing services for citizens, did they ask themselves, "what would be the most inconvenient way to run an office?" I don't know of ANYONE that has had a pleasant, quick, or even average trip to the DMV. 2012 is the year of my renewal. Before my move to OK, I was trying to make it the the office in GA to get my license renewed; however, you now have to bring your brother's cousin's mom, your dog's breeder, and your grandparent's car tag to get a renewal. (Not really...that was severe sarcasm :)  Anyways, my trip to OK came faster than I had hoped and I didn't get to do all of that before I left. So, here I am, in OK, settling into a new job, a temporary house, and trying to adjust to my life out west. I had to get a new tag first, which meant switching my insurance to an OK office. That took a couple days. By the time I was ready for my license, it was Saturday (my birthday) and guess what is NOT open on Saturday... Yep...DMV.

So here in our little town, you can't get your license here, you have to drive to the closest city, which is an hour away. (This is why I have been delayed). My boss let me go today, so I arrive and take a number...you guessed it...there's a wait! One person is working behind the counter and one person is doing driving tests. There are about 30 people in the waiting room and a family that smells like sour milk. As I'm texting and facebooking on my phone, I see a sign that says "no mobile devises." Now, call me crazy, but shouldn't a government affiliated office spell their signs correctly!? I attempted to get a picture, but looked a bit creepy holding my phone up to my face.  An hour and a half later I hear "48!" That's my number!! "I hope I'm in the right place, " I sigh, as I reach the counter. ---Up to this point, that had been my first worry, being that I had already driven to the wrong office.---As it turns out, I'm in the right place, but because my license is expired I now have to take both a computer test and a driving test...again! "However, " she smiles, "we're not doing any more driving tests today, so come back tomorrow." "You're kidding?" I manage. "I just drove an hour here, I work, I can't come back." I could feel frustration welling in my eyes as I tried to hold back my tears. "Please," I plead, "you really don't understand what I'm going through...I just moved here, please?"  "Ok dear, we'll let you go today." So, yes, I took a permit and driving test today! Can I just add that I was so nervous! "What if I fail!?" I kept thinking. I passed, and am now officially an "Oklahoman." Oh and just to add to my day.... apparently, Oklahoma's car insurance is more expensive than GA's...AWESOME!